To Mr. Do Right And Kill Everything,
I’ve listened to your music from Take Care and Thank You Later, I’ve come to one realization in reply to those two Imperatives, and the appropriate, timely response comes through in the form of a declarative.
Fuck You. Yes You, Aubrey Graham.
And this isn’t about you giving light skin brothers the most hope since Al B Sure or unrealistic attempts to show us you really didn’t grow up acting as Wheel Chair Jimmy. No, this is about your music and the feelings it stirs up within me.
I can’t stand you, because I remember being you… and what being vulnerable with my emotions would put me through. And how once upon a time I said the same shit you say in Marvin’s Room, but I meant it and it was my heart and not alcohol I was speaking through.
For reminding me off all the Unforgettable ones that would Make Me Proud to simp and do everything for, only to remember how I was doing it wrong. For every girl I swore was Fancy and could be the Best I Ever Had, but had plenty of Practice before they ever met me. Fuck You Aubrey.
You are the constant reminder of the person I used to be. Someone free to open up freely about my feelings and poor them out endlessly to whomever I hoped was my future woman to be. A Reminder that it never quite worked out trying to get to know The Real Her, because no one wanted the simp, punk ass version of me. And you know what else that describes?
It’s as if you watched my past life and through your music live vicariously. As if your constant Drake hands strum the pain of my past, killing me softly similar to the man L Boogie spoke of when she sang with the Fugees.
Stop reminding me of the man I used to be, I worked hard to hide that compassionate, caring, sacrificing, daring and romantic person inside of me.
The pain of the past returning is too much to bear so I’ll try to turn off the radio, delete your albums, ignore your features, and hate anything I see reading “YMCMB”.
Because it’s not so much me hating you…
It’s that you remind me of Too Much who I am now… And The Ride I took to get here from who I used to be.