“And they say that money change you, but money don’t change you
It just make you more of what you already are” – Phonte – The Good Fight
One of my favorite bars from one of my favorite rappers from one of my favorite groups popped into my mind tonight during a twitter discussion. The topic followed my commenting on a young lady that posted a nude photo of “herself” (she later said it was a google nude she tweeted for followers. The things we do to be twitter popular, smh) with the caption “Drunk”
I wasn’t buying it.
Pretty much, being drunk isn’t an excuse for any of our actions, if anything it just removes the muzzle over our “moral compass” imparted on us from the world. Just a opinion of mine. But this got me to thinking:
Who Are We… Really?
Anyone other than me wonder about what life would be like free of morals, a care, or debt? Is that not what money, drugs, and alcohol actually allow people to do. It’s one of the reasons I don’t put anything past anyone: positive or negative good or bad. If anything, those things that hinder/affect our life and our decisions (morals, cares, debt) limit our spectrum of what is possible and what is within the realm of our abilities. The best music of the last 60 years was made by a bunch of men high out of their mind on Heroine. It’s not that they couldn’t make that music sober, but without that inhibition, what was there to stop them from doing some classic shit that’s never been done before? It’s the reason we who are common can’t fathom even the most basic of situations outside of being under the influence.
In a moment of self-reflection, I look at myself, and the things that have come so easy while drinking that I was in my own way of doing while sober.
While drunk, high, or in moments where money wasn’t an issue I’ve:
- Devoured an entire Extra Large Pizza, and proceeded to beat box for 15 minutes straight.
- Made out with a young woman I was attracted to the night that I met her, while still in a relationship.
- Spent $1600 in literally 48 hours between a train ticket to NYC, A Hotel room in Manhattan at $300 a night, Food, transportation while there, and back home, and a pair of shoes for my gf at the time on a whim.
- Cursed my pops out and told him I was sick of his shit cause he called me Trifling.
- Sent nudes to women. On a whim. Because Why not?
- Had sex with a co-worker inside the restaurant I was working at… while I was still working my shift.
- Drove my friends car across a college town in NC, without a license while drunk and sipping a cup of drank while at midnight, speeding the whole way.
- Maintained dates/relationships with 6 different women at the same time, and spread attention equally among all of them, taking them out on dates, buying them gifts, traveling to see them, and footing the bill each time.
- Ate a woman out the day I met her, just because of how she ran her hands on my head. And smacked her with my dick without knowing what her name was.
All these things are true, and took place in the last 6 years. And what’s more, I can’t say that money, drugs or alcohol caused me to do any of them. They didn’t change me, they unblocked myself from all things that I had and still have the ability to do; including things my sober self said I never would do.
And it scares me. But you gotta keep living. S/O to my vices.
~ Style Barker